I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
