Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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