craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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