All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
