addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
