I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
