I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
