I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
