He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
