No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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