I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
