i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
