Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize