If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
