I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
