I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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