Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
