Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize