yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
