Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
