ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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