It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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