I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
