I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
