if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
