Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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