Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
