I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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