the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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