I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
