i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
