You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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