U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize