Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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