So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
