so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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