Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
