Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
operation have a gay friend backfired
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
