dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
