if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
