your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
