dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
