I think my vagina is haunted
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
50% drunk capacity currently
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
