My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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