But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
