i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
