My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
