i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
