We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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