Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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