Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
