end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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