sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize