You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize