Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
