i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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