yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
