One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
