I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
