My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
