it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
