My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
