i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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