She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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