Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
